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In my opinion, Nobody is truly independent. 

Think of your biggest accomplishments. I am sure you worked incredibly hard to achieve them, but if you take a moment to reflect, I can guarantee you wouldn’t have achieved these things without the help of someone else. Even the most egotistical actor doesn’t goes up on stage at the Oscars to say “Yes, thank you, I’m amazing!”. Winners know that without their team, they wouldn’t be up on the stage.

Embrace Dependence

There is no denying that we are more disconnected than ever. We’re constantly engaged in social media but we’re lacking the skills to actually socialise. We pursue likes on our posts but shy away from actual heart-to-heart conversations, we have the ability to reach out to millions of people on the Internet and yet some people feel more alone than ever!

Humans are still social animals, it’s through teamwork, not through a single man’s struggle that most great achievements came about. Whether your goal is curing cancer or building a leaner, healthier body, nothing can beat having a great team behind you to allow you to achieve it.

Why We All Need Leaders

To put it in the words of John C Maxwell (the author of one of my favourite books on leadership:)

A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way and shows the way.

Whatever your goal may be, we all benefit from having someone show you . In your career, that would be a mentor. At home, it’s your wiser parents or grandparents who give the best relationship/marriage advice and in fitness, it’s a coach.

Without over-glorifying the role of a personal trainer, having a friendly and knowledgeable person to show you the way is a definite advantage. The whole point of choosing a great coach to be on your team is to save you time and effort to help achieve the best results in the most painless way possible.

You Are Who You’re With

But hey, who says choosing a leader needs to imply hiring someone?

I am a big believer in small-scale leadership and learning from your friends and loved ones. Look around your friends and colleagues right now. Every single person around you can teach you something. If you are alone, are there books? Books are  a great way to improve yourself through another human’s knowledge and experience. No books? Well, there’s always the Internet. There are thousands of amazing, inspiring people online that you can choose to spend time with.

One thing we all realise a little too late is that you are your tribe. You become the people that you invest time and energy in. It’s a scary thought if you’re not surrounded by happy and successful people. But here is the deal:

You have the choice. 

Seriously, you do. I know it’s scary to have to eat alone at work. It’s uncomfortable to fall apart with friends. It is downright heartbreaking to end things with a partner. The truth of the matter is, though, that sometimes pain and discomfort are necessary. Much like ripping a Band-Aid, removing negative people from your life is unpleasant but awfully necessary. I have gone through this process a number of times. Removing people from my business that were too negative, breaking away from friendship groups that were draining the life out of me and walking away from relationships that were taking so much more than they were giving.

How I Surround Myself With More Positive Humans

It’s the same approach I recommend with junk food. Rather than removing things, start by adding healthy nutrients. Once you’re filling up on nutritious food, the unhealthy things naturally just fall away.

Whenever I notice that I have been spending too much time with negative people, I take time in my day to invest in the fun, exciting, inspiring ones. Here are some ways to do that:

  • Read a book by an author you admire.
  • Text an old friend to check up on them.
  • Go to a lecture or a workshop-style event on a topic you’re interested in (the people who speak at these are incredible 10 out of 10 times)
  • Take your lunch break with your most smiley, enthusiastic colleague.

Keep doing that and as you spend more time with amazing people, you will notice how you get more inspired and productive yourself.

Your Gym Buddy Matters

Workout partners

I did a full article on workout partners because they can truly make or break your fitness journey. The most shocking thing there?

Obesity is contagious. 

That’s what Harvard scientists discovered when researching health patterns among adults. Thankfully, the reverse is just as true. Spend time with people who treat their bodies right and you will likely get healthy without even realising.

It isn’t always easy to find people like that. If you’re a Londoner, you know how busy people get around here. Fitness and nutrition are an after-thought for most. It doesn’t mean they are not exciting and positive people that will not contribute to your personal growth. It only means that in terms of health habits, you will not always find positive peer pressure in the people around you.

So what can you do?

Find The Diamond

While most people aren’t bothered about their physical health, there is the occasional happy-go-lucky diamond that will encourage you to care. These people are rare but if you find one, hold on to them for dear life. You might think you want friends who can say Screw it, let’s get doughnuts, yet it doesn’t hurt to also have someone who says I’ve signed us up to a Tough Mudder event next weekend. You can decide if that’s a good friend or not!

And if you are struggling to find the diamond among your friends, why not consider coaching. Along with motivation and positive reinforcement, a personal trainer has plenty of knowledge and experience to share.

Psst! If you want me, I’m not available!

It’s the beginning of the year and I’m booked up with my London projects and work at Red Bull Racing, BUT, I would like to invite you to check out the new online coaching programme I have created. Spoiler alert: it is the same value and effort on my part but you can access it from wherever you are in the world!

You’ll get my expert fitness and nutrition knowledge – and more importantly a positive and friendly influence to ensure that you achieve your goals and leave a positive mark on those around you!

If you’re interested then you can find me in the comments below!

Cheers,

David